feathered farewell

lifting the leather of my wings
i move into position.
seeing the wind approach
hearing it's faithful unstoppable voice
my murder calls from behind
and wish me well
i head towards the sun
the clouds point the way
and all i have
from here on out
is today.

So fucking stupid. To bring out this coffin once more and perform the rite to raise these bones which were better off dead asleep. To wrap them back in flesh and send them out to build. But no, drag them into the light to scream and fight for something and care about the air which is breathed.
I can think of no other reason why these pictures were hung for me to look at in the middle of the forest with fires underneath them. Threatening.
Could these fires be progress??
Could these fires scorch and cook the flesh??
And here I stand with this look on my face, a firetender of old, I am. I am the I am, s/d T. Over and over the mantra to push through my head, righting the capsized boat of my mind.
Long ago, there was not this and long ago there was worse. And this is where I stand, with this look on my face. Deer in the headlights of Destiny's hearse. Motherfuckers.

you all just dumb
you're not havin any fun
because i got some
joy in my life and in my heart
it's time to start
livin' and if not they get on dying
cuz i don't need you in my face
telling me i have to keep pace
with the life you chose
as we go nose to nose
about my future
that you say i'll never reach you
get in my way
and push me and say
that it'll aways be
just some excuse to me
and leave it to be unfettered
what could be better??
to be left alone
and not listen to you moan
about your existence
so ridiculous
and frustrating
with you not competeing
to better yourself and make your life you own
to smile big, jump high instead of groan
at what you've become
nothing but a gnome
to some chum who knows less
considered the picture of sucess
yes here we, you and me
it's time to see
that we can grow and mutate
think large and contemplate
then act and stack
the money we earn and rack
the hapiness we seek
among our people the meek
and show them that it is a tangible thing
to rise and start enjoying
this thing we call life, only given once
and without ANY assurance
that we can make it into anything
and become just what we are - human beings.

6.23.05

Lady of the Moon I

Sit here with me
Whilst I cry
Look at me
With your tender eye

Kiss my lips
Soft and deep
For silence of this moment
We must forever keep

Exchange the tender words of new
For I cannot see passed this vision of you.

Is this a hopeless cause??
Am I doomed to fail??
Will I end in disgrace and torment
My heart an eternal wait??

Why take the cahnce??
Why take the risk??
The answer is you
Who makes my heartbeat brisk

It is your voice, Woman of the Moon
It is your face
It is you very being
Which I hope to behold soon.

1/21/97

Lady of the Moon II

Take my heart
It's all I have left
Take my heart
I do not want the rest

I can be
No more than I am
I long to praise you
The perils be damned

Hold you close to me
Evey now and again
Conveniently kissing
Through excusable emotional stain

Throw me to the wall
For I will not back away
From your outstretched hand
Or soft request to stay

Still, the greatest joy
I have ever known
Is walking with you and the Sun
When the birds' songs finish
Before they've flown.

-1/21/97

Lady of the Moon III

I sit in the candlelit dark
and wonder
Do thoughts of me come to you
to grow fonder??

I must confess-
Do my thoughts obsess??
Do I carry my father's geneWhich bequeath the need to possess??
Or am I simply wanting your caress??

Alas I do not believe these thoughts to be true
For that which holds, are my feelings for you.

-1/21/97

Lady of the Moon IV

Dance with me
Lady of the Moon
Dance with me, m'lady
To an endless tune
A tune of merriment
A tune of wonder
Amidst the rainstorm
Filled with soothing thunder

Your eyes carry the new moon
They carry a glimpse of your soul
Enveloped in opaque cocoons
May I not know your absence soon

The music feed the soul and the heart yet clouds the head
Melodic fairies whisper ancient secret
Who in turn admonish the mind
That nothing be said.

The rain endlessly tumbles down
Drenching us in its sovereign way
Sending comforting sounds of thunder
To rumble our fears of separation away

Ans so m'lady
I return to bed
My dream is down on paper
It's now time to rest my head

-1/21/97

Lady of the Moon V

Lady of the Moon V

Into the night
Wishing to end
Thoughts of soft sleep
With my beautiful friend

I looking into her eyes
Not knowing what to say
Talking simply through my sighs
Keeping my feelings to myself

And now quiet is what our friendship needs
The disappointments within she'll never know
As we move towards those shining deeds
Which shall nurture our laughter and help it grow.

-1/23/97

There's Nothing On This Page

This is all there is
On this one page
There is not blood
There is no rage
There are no eyes
Looking through you
But there's all these lines
Drawn straight and blue

You look at this page
And say, "This poem sucks!!"
And I'll think that's nice.
Cuz I don't care about you fucks.

There are those I love
There are those I hate
But life seems to suck
And death seems great.
Feelings are there
Without saying a word
And they bubble forth
When you see a bird

And as you drift
Onto this stage
Just remember that there's still nothing
On this page.

-9/9/94

Shed

The sand.
A new movement comes over me
A symphony of death with indifference.
Clean, done, thoughts, unmoved eyes, watching.
The mind's eye folded from both
Recording the onslaught before me as I deal using the new raw data inside me.
It's an eloquent symphony.

Composed by those who watch and those who listen
To things almost unheard in the passing day.
With the unspoken, knowledge is commuted in harmony with the unseen.
Mysticism decends.

We watch all things never brought to the masses to be discarded and forgotten.

-11/10/96

Mocking me, the giant murderers
Spitting on me, they cry on
Pulling me
Slicing me, cutting me open
These giant murderers
Leathery sounds rise as my skin separates
As the giant murderers cut on
Warmth spews streaks on the floor
As the giant murderers cut on
Opening me
Poking me, prying me loose.
As the giant murderers cut on.

-6/30/94

Flush

Taste the acid on your tongue
Watch it burn through your bones
Cry our in pain, delight in ecstacy

I will destroy you
You are my dewath
I hold nothing back
I shall suffocate you.

I cry to the moon
With the sacrificial knife
Praying to forgotten gods
"Give me justice tonight!!"

You sleep alone in your bed
The darkness loathes all around
I creep into your future tomb
There is no sound

I slit your throat and take your heart for fun.
I drink all your blood
I leave no mess when I'm done

-7/5/95

Mitosis

I need to be happy
Without it i remain black
Until the day i die

I need her to be happy
She guards the light
Which lifts me from this lie

I can't be happy
Forces move against me.
My dark protection fades

I can't be happy
Without her, misery rises
And suicide efforts become my days.

Chorus
There's not way out
I could just cry
There is not answer
The only way is to die

I'm torn between the fear, the hate
I'm torn between the love, the light
Trying to choose black or white
In a world of grey

-5/30/95

You misplace insincerity
On my heart and words
I've tried to let you know
That I care beyond these soft borders

But we know not of each other
So much as of this now
Yet pass along my child, Time
And we shall be closer then

We cannot tell stories together
As there are no tales to tell
Just I who believes you to be beautiful
From sight and words, til sweet smell.

So until that day
When you believe me true
My friend you shall stay
My pledge to you.

Conjure I

dear ______________
close my heart
the night doth wroght
you to my side
on the ride of this black stallion
called time

i close my eyes and see
so many things which include possiblity

and riding on the cloud of discovery
the two of us
above all roguery

the tune of towns below
drunken townies too and frow blow like sails and clothes.

and in this melee of interpersonal alchemy
can we truly see
the philosphoer's stone
within theheart of eachother.
look deep into my eyes as i touch your thighs
and tell you the delightful feel
of your completed wax

i bow my head in silence
lighting candles to your reverence
behold you have brought light to my life
and i sit here as we wait for the bus of strife
to attend our worried heads
and fretful self-destructive need for beginnings.

Conjure II

Up to the night like the owl
Down to the eartrh like the worm
As above, so below
It is you that I know
Whom will walk with me forever.

Silly it sounds
For you to be found
On the arm of this Dark One called me.

Daydreaming for days
Our cards and best faces we play
but yet the real us shines through

Will the mist and veil of tomorrow lift
To behold the promise of our fated kiss??
Only so many outcomes are allowed
And to the moon is sent the howl.

Conjure III

________, will this ever end.
My enamorement of you
Which seems too true
and more than just my friend

In strange land, two strangers
cross the land in the only band
that they know, from the unknown
to the known of eachother.

We have begun across this desert.
in search of wisdom and the russert.
and is it there??
i know not where, but you do

And what will you do, when the crop fails to yield
when the words pour not forth
Over your vision, the field.
Will this still hold for you the same meaning you know
As it did before this scrutiny, a moment ago

Attaching importance to these compilations
Ruminations have power you s/d
But where would they get this- the filling station??
For I believe it is we that gives them current
So the outcome can form into reassurance.

So i don't know how important it is.
that i use this or that
To mind my own biz and turn things to scat.

but here i am __________
as ripe as could be
for you to see
straight inside me.

and whether or not
i run this track true.
there not a lot to say
Except ________________

Uppercut

To the horrid creature who is now lying quiet
For tests thus given you receive no kiss
Me things of spells to raise a riot
And throw your bare of bones into the Abyss
Your resting place is near few happy trees
Under a rumbling sky in the days of June
Your eyes will shrival up like little peas
So shall your skin (it corrodes like a prune)
Your unopen eyes no longer crystal
And through your heart shall pass a metal par
Shall not the winds of mercy lend a pistol
So strumming silver strings on one guitar
And person none over your death have brooded
Your role in this grand life has been concluded.

11.12.95

The wind blows in my ear
Tossing seduction by nature to my psyche
All things left unsaid
The realm we go to, barren of thought and effort
The place beneath ourselves
Shying away from traditional symbolism
We try to grasp the new meaning, the new principle.

Achieving perfection of the soul is your goal
Walking along stone pathways on your knees.
Waiting for the subtle-free sign of deliverance to fall into your lap
The amusing belief is that you didn't need wander
You didn't need move.

Prejudice

I said to the dead man smiling at me
"How do you do??"
He sat, but grinning with missing teeth
And did not reply, "Not bad, and you??"
I fondled his ribs
Now vagrant and hollow
And stuffed marbles in his mouth
To see if he still swallowed
Oh curious am I
About death and its shadow
But boring is the life
All gentle and mellow
My interests range from the verse
Which may be missing all reason
And of women and wine
Of which change with season
And so I turn
To the cold grey stone
Underneath the coffee grind dirt
Staring at half-eaten flesh and bleach white bone.
(Finding some old headless crone)

blue feather, blue feather
where have you fallen??
to another's dorr
who cannot possibly appreciate you
at all
i wish you back
i want you back
to float in my life once more

but i know your master, the wind
will not keep you within
my reach.
and to it all i continue to see you fall
while obeying the master
out of my reach...

Atop

[this most excellent image was pilfered from CuDbh.com, which has many more enticing images on it]

There she is.
Upon the rock of my heart
And I look at her, beauty afar.
Her hair shades long, her eyes aglow.
The stillness of decision in her posture,
The resolve of confirmed existence in her face.

Revealing everything in mumbles
She drinks unpronouncable champagne
"Japan and Peru are throwing their chocolates at you"
And she catches the overhanded throw.

My heart has begun to grow wild flowers again
The buds shaking off sleep and receive the unfamiliar sun.
She gets off my heart, respecting the growth and points to the corona
"I'm thinkin' a road trip is in order."
Arms spread downward, eyes closed the earth recedes
Her hair winks in the wind and i follow due north the course

Chocolate can be delivered
Champagne can be made
A road trip is undertaken
And my heart grows life again.