To my friend S.G., the rambler:

Ah, my friend, my friend.
Would you believe
It's been 7 years.
Every letter of yours I found last night.
What a find.
The tomultuous torment of distanced ecstacy.
The pouring of rage and sorrow.
These were the seeds of something greater than ourselves.
You and I, though long we part
Meet in another place, close to my heart.

And ours paths have parted
And met again.
Addiction.
Dysfunction.
Redemption.
Crying into the darkness for the voice that is you.
And you answered.
And vice versa.
These lonely things
These unspoken and forbidden rose to become our foundation.
From the forbidden came the sacred.
From the sacriligious came the worshipful
And through it all wehave stayed and turned and grown and become
More and often times less than we are now.

To your continuous journey
Which again leads you South.
And to mine,
Out of exile
May we both be complete,
relpleat,
and "H" word
(that we dare not speak aloud)

happy....

some day...

good journey, my friend.
be well.

all things relative
all is nothing and all things to everything
sit in the dark and watch the darkness of the room reach out
to the corners.
it reches you and you wonder what it can be as it grabs you
and devours you whole until you are in its stomach
raechel welch is down there with you.
you see eachother
you don't know who you are except
what;s going on around you is far from the the boundaries of your
scooby-doo sheets
lizard men dance around a fire far beneath you.
where your feet are
you see them
in the crack in the floor
the shadows throw you through the wall because you leap at
the sight of your own hand brushing your hair back.
creeping down steps to the left
trying 2 make noise to get attention
that's all you've wanted up til now.
but no. they dance to the drums with the ancients
the skins of their enemies wound and strung tightly over them.
the air is tribal.
you feel your heart pounding.
out of yuor chest, slowly, it comes.
your neck crinks.
you walk funny.
your skin turns clammy.
you leap out and dance around the
incinerating mounds of ashes and logs crumpling under four hundred degrees.
raechel stands silent.
waiting for the murderous frenzy to begin.
she awaits the repping leathery sound of flesh being torn by razor-sharp nails.
but no.
all she sees is the hunt dance.
stomping feet await the hardness of the ground in order to reset position
and thunder again
so that Leviathan complains.
faster and faster
round and round
the endless cycle fo movement
hearts beating sweat
anger
movement
fast faster
round round
all things to nothing, float through raechels's mind.
she wonders not.
her instinct takes over -
IT SEES
a hundred nights under the moon,
the plains on which her ancestors romped the earth in heated passion towards the gods and howled towards the eternal Gates of Mordor to the lights and stars
and in the jungle heat
heard the screeching of the birds as they pierced the night
this cry sends a flicker of anger throught the eyes of the hunters to all their prey.

and the eye closes...

4/93

WE break into this hollow ground and see that which consumes us. For we simply, are here. And that's all. We are herew. What we are - this crude flesh upon us Not so to be. Look around you. Look. What do you see?? People, places, faces. Forever in silence we sit until that fateful day, when it will be out turn and so as we do. To go forth in thereis to descend. The ultimate humblement. Forever.
Now look again. At yourselves. At him. At her. At them. at me. To ourselves we would say nothing as it be holdeth to us. We walk away in silence of out tears. We gaze now and forever at the star in that eye and watch it.
May it never grow dark, as so many a heart does to the problems of this world. For all eternity to rest and all to say...nothing.

1/91

Folding Kelley Williamson

Slide your fingers over the strings
Listening to the microscopic scratching it brings
Ridged fingers and moving air,
Play the song of possiblity.

Rising on both sides,
Through you eyes
The guitar's voice rushes you into my heart and flutters
Banging against the walls to free itself.

And as the silence closes its hand around the moment
I feel my breath in your pocket
And you take it with you.
Until next we meet.

Down the Neck

[Lyrics by A.P. and me
Chorus by me]

Ancient Symbols
Inscribed in Flesh

Warding of the inevitable
Slowing down Destiny

Smile as the steal sticks in & out
Leaving meaningless scars in black.

Stretch your neck out and
Wait to receive the gift in ink.

Scaring for life
No way to make it vanish

A life of believed protection
For a moments pain

Chorus
The evil eye watches
The monkey's paw twitches
The protection from evil we seek
Is found in symbols of ourselves
Incatations swirl from our mouths
To protect us from the fall
Where would we be without these??

Lost in the blackness (2x)

Waiting, waiting, for her return
Seems like, at the end of it all
That's all I can ever do.

I go do my thing. She moves on it her life.
And we come back together so briefly.

How many times has my heart written letters??
How many times was she conjured in my room??
Did she know she was visiting??
Could I reach the far away land and touch her cheek??
Would we ever be together??

My whispers to her are in the greenest reeeds
She told me once not to turn around
As I left.
Lest I see her weeping for us.

Or is it with absence of another
She seems the only choice
Is it re-occurring infatuating, or
The silt clearing out of the water to reflect true.

When will I know??
Will I know??
What will tell me so??
Will it be the stars?? Her eyes??
Tarot cards?? Reactions to other guys??
Things I can't buy??

Or will I ever know??
Will this paradoxical conundrum tattoo, fade and return
Saying simply here I am
The biggest thing in your past.

For the present I have not
And God knows why I never understand.
Screaming simplicity and love, I reach
Into the darkness for that
Which is unknown, plausible, yet improbable.

But it makes me smile and it's ok it nothing comes.
For once, long ago, we had something indescribably simple.
Enough to make even me smile.
Can anything else in this world be as sweet as that or her??

Sitting on my pen really hurts
Like a quill in the ass
In the rain.

Holding a flood back, like a damn liar
Trying to keep the final retreat
of peace that has left.

No self respect. No dignity.
No desparation can one despise him

fo what he has done, and not done.
Unknown but to his heart and semi-lucid mind.

For the clouds of caring and love
Shift their percipitation and regulation
To favor the happiness of her.

And so he lies. She will not be happy
With the truth
And that's what matters
Is that she's happy.

Dad (performance piece)

Hey Dad,
Come over here and kneel down.

Sit still while I claw your facee
Don't move while I slap you.

Oh you don't think it should be done.
Cuz you're the dad. That's not respectful.

Let's role play...you be the son
You fuckin'goddamnpieveofshitsonofabitch
YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.
YOU WILL NEVER BE ME
YOU WILL NEVER BE

ok.
I'm done.
You can go now.

I love you....Son.

Ace

I
You were in my life like an idol
worshipped by many, always close

Never could figure you out
My silent avatar

Make me the man I am
And never knew it.


II
You wished you had been better
You wished you had been strong.
But revealing your weakness
Was the most binding thing to me.

III
The Great Spirit called you home
To the stars.
Over the horizon and sky, you skipped afar.
And per chance to wave with lightening.

IV
So, brother, I wish you here.
To knead my darkness and quell my doubt
But you won't come
And its not that you don't want to
Even though I think it's because you don't want to.
You Bastard!!

You left me with the darkness all becoming
I am a spiritual vegetable without you
A shell upon the earth waiting for death to
Make me feel worthy to rejoin you.

finding peace took you to Hell
It's something I cannot do without you.
Putting my head against the wall, crying, wet.

V
Feeling you near
Watching flies, thining you've come back to keep me company.

Crying, knowing you're not here.
Sobbing, wishing you here
Crying out for you again.
To be alive and shake the dead.

VI
Prophesising your return
Does me no good
My friends turn and run
And I am alone again to brood.

VII
Come back to me brother.
Come back to friendly hearts and warm breasts.
Where family is all that mattered
And your welcome is never emptied.

Why...Because

This age old exchange is brought to you as the answer-free response to the conundrum of why I will be posting my writings on this particular blog. Constructive criticism is welcome. All photos posted on this blog will be mine.
"Welcome my friends, to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend. Come inside, come inside..."